Dear Mrs. Hornbacher
I know our assignment is to be reviewing a book by a writer named Jack London, but as much as I have tried I can’t get past the first few pages. I’m sorry, Mrs. Hornbacher. I really am. I’ve tried many times to read that book. You may know or maybe not that many of the other kids in our class are not really doing their assignments either. I’m not going to name anybody, but it is quite easy to get a review from internet sites such as bookreviewsforstudents.com which your stopstudentsfromcheating.com app will not detect because these reviews are originals. Ten dollars is all it takes. They say that kids in India and China are writing these reviews because they really need the money and that these kids are smarter than we are anyway.
I maybe not that smart but I refuse to cheat. I guess I am going to have to learn to read books some day. You’ve told me I will have to do that if I want to go to college. But if you can put something in a book you can probably just as well put it on YouTube and it will be better that way and not so hard to get into and I’ll learn more and I think that’s the future.
To prove to you that I am not lazy I am going to write about a YouTube video instead of that book I couldn’t read. Okay? And I am going to give you a link to that video so you know what I am writing about, but you make us turn in our home work on paper so you are going to have to copy this link for hand on to your computer or your smart phone if you had one and you might get something wrong so you see it would be better if we could just email you our homework assignments or post them on your Facebook page if you had one. I think that’s the future Mrs Hornbacher.
Here is my assignment
Eva Vergilova – Girl Guitar player
by William Russo
Eva Vergilova is a girl guitar player from Bulgaria, Europe. Bulgaria is not a rich country and has a population of 7 million. (source Wikipedia) I think Eva has a cheap guitar. Anyway it says CHEAP on it. Eva plays other peoples songs. That’s called making covers. In this video she plays a song called Purple Rain first done by a guy named Prince (source Wikipedia) and there are purple candles and the sign is in purple which shows that Eva has good ideas and is thinking smart about what she is doing but she forgot to capitalize rain and I spotted that!
0:00 At the start of the video Eva checks her sound system I guess. We don’t see her equipment so I’m just guessing.
0:07 Eva’s hair falls in little bunches from her right shoulder. She probably had it all combed back before the video started. Eva has very nice long hair.
0:17 Eva closes her eyes just a bit probably thinking about what she is going to play and everything like that. Even though Eva is making a video for thousands of viewers I think she is basically a shy person like me.
0:19 Eva looks at the camera and seems to have trouble focusing. It seems like Eva should be wearing glasses but she doesn’t think they look good on her. I wouldn’t mind if Eva wore glasses if she needs them. My sister wears glasses some time and everyone says she is still pretty.
0:34 Eva is surprised by something or someone in her room. Is there someone else in the room? I hope not. I hope Eva is alone doing this all by herself without some guy telling her what to do. But I can’t be sure.
0:45 Eva opens her mouth and you can see she is concentrating. She is preparing to do something harder with her guitar because up to now she hasn’t done anything very hard. But just wait and see.
0:49 Eva moves a switch on her guitar with her little finger. You have to look carefully to catch that. The switch changes her guitar sound and makes distortion (source: yahoo.com).
0:51 Eva starts playing hard. I’m not very musical as you might remember you had me kicked out of the school orchestra for screwing around but I think Eva is just as good as any guitar man I have ever heard of. There are lots of clips on YouTube with millions of views of girls who don’t do anything at all read the news or something and they’re not naked or anything they are just pretty or they have big breasts. Some people on the internet thinks Eva is faking her guitar playing because she is so pretty but I don’t believe that. You never know on YouTube but I still don’t believe it. I think Eva is a great guitarist even if she is beautiful and a girl.
0:55 Eva has a tattoo on her right arm. First I thought it was dirt but that wouldn’t make sense and I checked out her Facebook page and its a real tattoo, but the tattoo is obfuscated (source: thesaurus.com) here like maybe she tried to cover it up with makeup because she isn’t totally happy with it.
1:00 Eva shrugs. Eva shrugs a lot but this is her biggest shrug. Her left shoulder is bare an account of the shirt she is wearing. My sister has a shirt like that which she is always adjusting but of course it will always slip off one shoulder or another and need more adjusting like girls butts that are always sneaking out of their bathing suits and they keep tucking them in though that has nothing to do with this homework assignment, just a thought that came into my head.
1:04 Eva parts her lips just a little. Eva has alluring (source: thesaurus.com) lips.
1:25 Eva’s hair is covering her face. This happens a lot.
1:32 Eva’s face is covered by her long dark brown hair and I can’t see what she is thinking I can only see her hair which she probably just washed and dried before making the video and probably smells good if they have good smelling shampoos in her country which may not be the case.
1:40 Eva looks very serious now. She is playing her hardest. She makes her playing look easy but I think she must practice a lot. Maybe she took violin lessons to learn how to move her fingers like this. Girls usually play violin and not electric guitars. Eva has nice long fingers too and that probably helps.
1:50 Eva smiles. There are 237 muscles in the human face. (Source: Wikipedia) Eva only uses around 5 of them most of the time. but i’m OK with that. Eva is understating her emotions (source: my Father). She has little creases at the ends of her mouth. And her nose is more round than pointed. Eva has an aquiline (source: thesaurus.com) nose.
2:13 Eva isn’t moving very much so I watch her guitar string vibrating. The guitar string shows that there is stuff going on in Eva’s body that only the guitar string knows about. but if you don’t look carefully you will miss that.
2:28 Eva blows away a wisp of hair without missing a note. Girls can do two things at a time like that.
2:34 Eva looks at the camera. This is a furtive (source: thesaurus.com) look.
2:45 You told us in class about the elephant in the room. And that seemed a weird thing to understand and I even figured you were talking about me. But Eva’s right breast hangs over her guitar in this whole video as if it was made for that purpose. Not the breast, but the curve in the guitar. And now I understand that Eva’s right breast is the elephant in the room that we are not supposed to talk about even though, and if I was to ever meet Eva and say anything about that she would probably get angry with me and besides I think Eva’s shoulder is her best body feature anyway. I am not making an inappropriate (source: theasurus.com) sexuall comment here. I just wanted to show you here that I do understand what an elephant in the room is.
2:50 Eva kinda bites her lip. And I have learned to like this song very much. And if I was better with words I could explain how the music and Eva and Eva’s face and her moves and her playing and everything all goes together and makes this such a great video and makes it easy to watch it 1245 times very carefully so that I could write this assignment and show you that I am not lazy just because I can’t read books.
2:55 Eva smiles for the second and last time in the video. She knows she has done good. I would like to write a comment on her page telling her she has done good but there are so many stupid people making comments and I wouldn’t want Eva to think I was one of those very stupid people.
This is a serious school homework assignment and I have looked up stuff on Wikipedia and I have checked my facts and done research and named my sources and used a spellchecker and everything and printed it out like we are supposed to and held back my own personal feelings. And if Eva and I were to meet we probably couldn’t talk to each other anyway because they don’t speak English in Bulgaria and she probably has a boyfriend though I hope not and she would think I was stupid for going over to that country to see her when we couldn’t even talk and I think she is much older than I am and i think a lot of guys would like to go to Bulgaria and meet Eva but I think it is wrong to forget how good a guitarist Eva is just because she is a beautiful girl and anybody who says anything else is going to be in trouble with me.